I Squashed the Little F**ker Last Night
Last night I achieved something monumental in my life, I reached a major milestone, which gave me a real sense of satisfaction, honest it really did! You may be wondering what made me so happy and content with life, had I finally won the lottery, NOPE, it was something even more satisfying.
I managed to squash one of those little f**kers of things known as mosquitoes with a piece of tissue I was holding in my hand. I watched it flying around and took aim and caught it perfectly in the tissue, it required near perfect hand to eye co ordination, and it felt good to see it squashed and dead.
But unfortunately I’m not too sure if the pesky mosquito had the last laugh because the tissue was covered in blood, which the wee beastie had sucked from someone, it may well have been mine.
I intend to take my mosquito squashing on to a whole new level, my next task is to catch and squash one of them with a pair of Chinese chop sticks, Mr Miyagi from the Karate Kid will be proud of me, has anybody got his number so I can get a few tips to help me out.
Interesting Facts About Mosquitoes:
1. It is the female mosquito that sucks blood from its victims.
2. A mosquito can fly for 1 to 4 hours continuously at up to 1-2km/h, travelling un to 10 km in a night.
3. Most species of mosquito are dawn or dusk feeders, resting during the heat of the day in a cool place.
4. One brown bat can consume 1200 mosquitoes in an hour, I wish the bats round here would do a better job!
I don’t know if the mosquitoes in Barbados have thing for juicy tasty Scottish blood for they can’t seem to leave me alone. I have had to resort to slapping on citronella oil on a regular basis to keep them at bay, it aint quite Hugo Boss aftershave, but I suppose it does work reasonable well.
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Some places sell electronic tennis rackets; easier for zapping!